HOW TO BE HAPPY BY YOURSELF; 10 HIGHLY PROVEN WAYS OF ETERNAL HAPPINESS
Is life unfair to you? Are you overwhelmed with the pain of rejection, illness, agitation, and toxic relationships? Are you pathetic with the grief of deceased loved ones? A lot of similar questions pop up in our minds. Happiness is something that comes inside of you, but most people seek it outside. When you find happiness in another person, the remote control of your life falls into his hands and it makes you desperate in the long term. Here I will share with you some tips that how to be happy eternally.
1. Gratitude:
It’s gratitude that makes you happy, but it’s not happiness. Gratitude makes the living moments pleasant. The scientists experimented on two categories of people. They asked the first group to write a thank you note for the most influential person of their life. The second group was asked to express their gratitude to their loved ones on a phone call. The 1st group happiness increased by 4% and those who made phone calls were 19% happier. Shakespeare once said:
“I cried when I had no shoes, but stopped crying when I saw a man without legs. “ (Shakespeare)
Gratitude rewires the brain and boosts self-esteem. A teacher asked the students for a test. The students were confused to see the blank question paper. There was only a black dot at the bottom of the paper. The professor got information about whatever they wrote on the paper. Everyone wrote about the dark spot, its color, and its location on the paper. Finally, the professor told the students that nobody focused on the white piece of the paper. Similarly, we focus on the black spots in our life but neglect the countless blessings.
“Anxiety or distress increases with discussion, decreases with silence, ends with patience, but it turns into happiness through gratitude.”
2. Positive Mindset:
Our happiness depends on how we think in a tough time. A positive thinker acts positively in a critical situation. Positive thinking is the biggest freedom that keeps our spirit alive in the world of frustration. Dr. Viktor Frankl is the best example of being a positive guy. He was prisoned during the era of Hitler Nazi and suffered injury, hunger, and brutality. His mom, father, sibling, and his better half were slaughtered in a gas chamber. Can you imagine a person in such a horrendous condition could be positive? But he kept his spirit alive and cleaned off all his negativity because he knew enemies can only harm his body, but not his inner self. Later, his positivity led him to live a happy life.
3. Self-Compassion:
Self-compassion means to treat yourself with kindness in suffering. Many people confuse it with selfishness and self-pity, but self-compassion is a silent ego that helps you to tolerate difficult emotions, anxieties, and insulting behaviors. If you self-doubt that you don’t deserve compassion and not smart enough as others think about you, you criticize yourself. Such an attitude of self-criticism makes you dumb, and opportunities pass away. Acceptance of what you are in happiness.
“Be a source of joy and let the critics and haters complain about the world.” (Paulo Coelho)
Today the society has made limited beauty standards. Body shaming provoked people to strive for physical beauty throughout their life and gave them a gift called “depression”. Research revealed that shame and self-criticism cause lower self-esteem, anger, frustration, and fear because it reduces the pre-frontal cortex capacity. This leads to unhappiness, decreased attention, sleep deprivation, and increased impulsive behavior. Self-compassion enhances cognitive well-being, emotional resilience, and happiness. How you can practice self-compassion?
· Forgive yourself for mistakes and failures.
· Avoid judgments and be self-kind.
· Try creative things like recipes, art, yoga, singing, etc.
· Make a self-care routine for your mind and body.
· Accept yourself as you are.
4. Mindfulness meditation:
Mindfulness meditation means observing the present moment that is deliberately focused on your body sensations (temperature, chill, breath, and pain) and thoughts (what you hear, or feel). During meditation, your mind wanders likely, but you bring it back to the focused point. This helps you to rewire the brain towards more positive emotions so you feel little positive things like flowers’ velvety texture, trees’ bark, sun kissing your skin, and many more.
A disturbed mind affects our health because our altered mindset alters the body response. Mindfulness meditation calms down the stressed mind and improves overall health. Research revealed that people feel unhappy when their minds wander while being mindful is a power to hold happiness within ourselves. Some people may think that if our mind is wandering to positive thoughts, then they would be happiest. It’s slightly better off than those whose minds wander to worry, but they are not still much happier than people whose minds stay in the present.
5. Spend time with nature:
The human attraction to nature is genetic and deep-rooted that’s why we are more adapted to the natural environment than artificial habitat. Happiness emerges with every walk of nature. When you spend most often in outdoor activities, the stress hormone (cortisol) reduces and sensory awareness develops. Nature purifies our respiratory system and removes toxic chemicals from our bodies. The chances of weak eyesight lessen when we spend time with nature. Even natural beauty in the form of paintings, crafts, and landscapesactivatestivate the specific areas of our brain, which release dopamine that makes us happier, calm, and energetic.
Research revealed that forest bathing helps to improve heart health and better bowel functioning. Nature walk enhances memory and reduces attention deficit disorder. The sunshine suffices us with the right level of vitamin D as compared to food. The sunshine vitamin provides immunity to fight against diseases like osteoporosis, arthritis, and diabetes. Whatever your mood is you feel happy and grateful whenever you are close to nature. Keep in touch with nature journals, walk more, grow plants at home, consume more plant-based proteins, and do more outdoor activities.
6. Exercise:
Exercise holds more power towards happiness. It not only reshapes our body but also enhances mental health and good mood. Your 10 minutes of regular exercise also contribute a lot to a blissful life. Exercise increases the new neural connection in our brain and expands the hippocampus volume. Thus, it empowers memory, a good mood, and a positive attitude. Our body and brain need oxygen to work properly. If people exclude exercise from their life, they face mental issues (like depression, anxiety, unconsciousness) and physical issues (anemia, joint problems, and cardiovascular diseases). Exercise boosts the level of happy hormones (dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline). It gives you positive insights, resilience, mood uplift and these contribute to the happiness likely.
7. Nurture relationships:
Do you think that eternal happiness lies in being wealthy and powerful? Do you ever think that you prioritize money, fame, and glamour first, but happiness and relationships later? We often forget the real happiness in the race of money and luxury. In 1938, researchers surveyed millennials in which they asked the people “What is the most important goal of their life that leads them to happiness?” The 80% of youngsters responded that the most important goal is to get rich while 50% said it was fame. After 75 years, the stats revealed that only those people were happiest in their retirement who kept good relations in their midlife. It wasn’t their cholesterol level that determined their age, but it was the quality of close relationships.
Good relations not only guard us physically but also nurture our brains. The socially isolated and self-centered people remain less happy and suffer health decline as well as emotional pain. It’s necessary to encircle yourself with people who radiate positive energy. Your parents are the only ones who you can blindly trust in this selfish world. Those who maintain good relations with family, friends, and community, are physically, mentally, and spiritually happy forever and live longer.
8. Choosing the Right Spouse:
Your happiness is highly concerned with the right choice of spouse. If your spouse is emotionally unstable, then you won’t be able to live a happy life with him/her. An impulsive person will make your life downtrodden. Tread carefully to choose the right life partner. Make sure that how the person is concerned with his family. If a person bullies his parents, then don’t expect that he would be sincere with you in the long run. A person, who had cut his roots (parents), would not go for another tree. Choose a kind, responsible, mentally stable, and intellectual partner.
9. Role of Sleep in Happiness:
In this age of media, every second person suffers poor sleep quality. Nature has made the night for sleep and the day for work. When we controverted nature’s rules, we not only faced insomnia but also depression, anxiety, and a lot of other health problems. How can an unhealthy and exhausted person live a happy life? Tons of researches suggest that a good quality sleep purifies the cerebrospinal fluid and removes accumulated toxic by-products from our brains. The blockage of cerebrospinal fluid leads to brain tumors while beta-amyloid accumulation in the brain leads to Alzheimer’s. The right sleep (likely 7–8 hours) clears the waste from the brain. Getting enough sleep at the right timings makes you more refreshing and happy.
10. Happiness is helping others:
Helping others is the greatest asset that brings lifetime happiness. There is a Chinese Proverb :
“If you want happiness for an hour, then take a nap, if you want it for a day, then do fishing, but if you want happiness forever, then help others.”
When you volunteer and help others financially, it gives you mental satisfaction. Another way to help people is to share your talents and skills with them. If you have nothing to help others, then give time and listen to others. Rich is not a person who has a high bank balance. Rich is the one who has an abundance of things that can’t be obtained through money.
Remember the story of Bill Gates when a newspaper boy gave him a newspaper free of cost. A couple of years later, Bill Gates became rich and approached the same boy to repay him. The newspaper boy said,” I helped you when I had nothing, but you are helping me when you have everything. Your help can’t replace my help.” Bill Gates said that the newspaper boy was richer than me even he had not enough money. You can make a pretty wonderful connection by helping others, and it makes you less hesitant towards asking for professional help in hard times. The joy that comes from helping others feed your soul.
Final Thoughts:
Happiness doesn’t come from reading a lot of articles on happiness until you take action. Pleasure and feelings can make us addict but can’t make us happy. We require money, emotions & intellect for comfortable survival but searching for happiness in them is like living in a fool’s paradise. The core of happiness lies in the peace of mind that comes with a purposeful life. A saw many people in my life that were blessed but later involved in stress-related diseases, and I saw some people who were physically sick but recovered because they were internally happy. Happiness is inbuilt in you, and it lies in your spiritual contentment. Ask yourself when were you truly joyous in your life? What would you like to do to be remembered even after your death?
